A senior Bush administration official has declared victory on the latest front of the Global War on Terra. "Intelligence sources have long suspected marine mammals of colluding with Al Qa'ida," the official stated on condition of anonymity. "I mean come on," he said, "'cells'...'pods'? We're really talking about the same global organizational structure here."

The official went on to describe coalition operations -- planned and executed unilaterally by the United States -- to deal with the "imminent" threat to national security marine mammals represent. "First off, they're way smarter than us. That's enough reason to kill them right there, really. But mostly we're doing it because it's so damned easy. We just flip on the sonar, and ZAP!!! It's like a goldfish in a microwave! Of course, most times they run -- like the Al Qa'ida cowards they are -- and end-up dead on a beach. It's a win-win situation for the 'good-guys' in the War on Terra."

Labels: environmentalism, George W. Bush, military technology, Navy, technology