Confirmed!
Tuesday, November 25, 2003

A senior Bush administration official has declared victory on the latest front of the Global War on Terra. "Intelligence sources have long suspected marine mammals of colluding with Al Qa'ida," the official stated on condition of anonymity. "I mean come on," he said, "'cells'...'pods'? We're really talking about the same global organizational structure here."

The official went on to describe coalition operations -- planned and executed unilaterally by the United States -- to deal with the "imminent" threat to national security marine mammals represent. "First off, they're way smarter than us. That's enough reason to kill them right there, really. But mostly we're doing it because it's so damned easy. We just flip on the sonar, and ZAP!!! It's like a goldfish in a microwave! Of course, most times they run -- like the Al Qa'ida cowards they are -- and end-up dead on a beach. It's a win-win situation for the 'good-guys' in the War on Terra."

Labels: , , , ,

Move along

This has nothing to do with low frequency sonar testing in the Pacific.

HOBART (AFP) - More than 100 pilot whales have died after beaching themselves on the coast of Australia's island state of Tasmania. Tasmanian Environment Minister Bryan Green told parliament the carcasses of 103 short-finned pilot whales had been found on a remote stretch of the state's west coast...

Labels: , ,

And away we go…
Monday, November 24, 2003

Via The Agonist:

The “Department of Defense authorization bill that President Bush is scheduled to sign Monday eases the military's responsibility under two important environmental laws.”

Environmental laws. Bah! Who needs ‘em? Isn’t it far more important that the U.S. Navy be able to develop more advanced sonar to protect us from all of those Al Qa'ida submarines skirting our coastlines? Who cares if the low frequency noise causes marine mammals to suffer massive internal hemorrhaging? Those subs are out there!

It makes me sick. Although not as sick as some will be because of this legislative circle jerk. Let me tell you a story about Fort Ord. Ah…foggy California, I miss it so.

Fort Ord, part of which now comprises the lovely UC Monterey Bay campus is one of the most polluted areas in central California. You can still see the earthen mounds that enclosed the firing ranges along the highway. Nothing quite like generations of young soldiers shooting lead into the earth to permanently taint the ground water. Can you say Superfund? Well, it looks like the DoD won’t have to worry about cleaning up their messes any more.

Thanks George. Stupid fuck-stick.

Labels: , , , , ,


Sunday, November 23, 2003

International Velvet

The former Soviet Republic of Georgia experienced something very, very rare this weekend: A bloodless revolution. President Eduard Shevardnadze resigned after massive protests erupted over disputed results in the recent election.

Opposition supporters stormed parliament and seized control of the government.

Hmmm. A disputed election. Rampent voter fraud. Public outcry...Let's keep this one in mind shall we?

Of course, if a non-violent group of protesters ever dared set foot in the U.S. Capitol building with the aim of seizing power from a corrupt government that had rigged a national election they'd be shot dead where they stood.

"A little rebellion now and then is a good thing." -- T.J.

Labels: , ,

Barack Obama for President Tom Allen for U.S. Senate

RECENT LABELS

    MOST ACTIVE LABELS

      ALL LABELS