The first rule of watching the SOTU is to discount the standing ovations. I even know some old schoolers who refuse to watch at all, and prefer to listen to an audio broadcast, or read a transcript to avoid being influenced in their thinking by all the clapping going on. The reason to ignore the ovations is obvious: It generally doesn't give any indication as to how Congress will actually vote on or spin the issues they are clapping for. These are career politicians, and they can't be seen not clapping for things like helping the poor, supporting the troops, or outlawing miniature bunny stickball. It's just bad business. But this Congress is severely divided with the Administration on nearly every aspect of American foreign and domestic policy, so the silent, uncomfortable battle of wills that led up to these First Citizens of America actually rising off of their privileged asses almost thirty times to applaud our lame duck President was thoroughly entertaining.

There were a few gimmies of course. Madam Speaker, Representative Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) is the highest ranking female elected official in our nation's History. She got two ovations out of the gate. Then there were the four ovations directed toward the gallery where the President's invited guests (an altruistic African immigrant, a millionaire entrepreneur mom, one of the damn craziest New Yorkers EVER, and an Army Sergeant wounded in battle) were seated. But the most telling ovations were those given so grudgingly it hurt just to watch.

First was a stuttering, are you gonna stand? I'm not standing. Are you standing? No, I'm not standing. I'm just leaning forward in my seat while clapping. Well, you look like you're gonna stand so I'm standing. Oh, crap he stood up! Now I have to stand. Shit now we're all standing and clapping. What are we clapping for? Oh yeah, the President just said "global climate change." Meaningful? Besides the fact that the most obtuse President in History paid lip service to climate change...no. But it was entertaining. Way to go Dems! Didn't you get the memo?

The other two ovations of note were in response to the proposed troop increases in Iraq. One of the best lines of the speech, "Ladies and gentlemen, on this day at this hour it is still within our power to shape the outcome of this battle. Let us find our resolve and turn events toward victory," was met with all the tension and awkwardness of an overly affectionate hug from a drunken in-law at a bereavement function. And the response President's plan to station those troops in Baghdad and Anbar Province was even worse than that.

There's much more of course. So be sure to tune in next time for Ern's State of the Union Recap, Part 2: WTF?

Labels: Nancy Pelosi, SOTU Address