Our nation is replete with monuments to the vision and sacrifice of our forefathers, but we Americans are richly undeserving of their legacy. To paraphrase, never before have so many with so much done so little for so few.

On President's Day 2007, America finds herself mistrusted and reviled by our friends and hated by every wacko in the world with an ax to grind. Our enemies don't hate freedom. Al Qaida and terrorist states don't give a shit about the democratic vision of an egalitarian society of self-governing citizens our founders hoped we'd one day become. They hate us because our government and our corporations have been wrapping themselves in that vision like a cloak for over a century as they've exerted their will on peoples having the misfortune to live in resource-rich environments. Oh yeah, plus we support Israel's right to exist.

We won't stop supporting Israel; that's nonnegotiable, but we might be able to do something about the vision thing. Not to appease the wackos, mind you. They're assholes. But our friends need to be on board with us if we're going to keep this grand experiment of ours going. They need to know that we still respect the vision, and that we will sacrifice whatever it takes to keep that vision alive.

Reckless bravado, brinkmanship, and shear incompetence got us into this situation, and I think they can get us out. We need a leader today like no other. Someone to stand for America, and take one for the team. Who can single handedly repair America's image abroad as a brash, arrogant, bully driven only by avarice and bent on world domination? President George W. Bush.

With a single, radical act the President can finish his second term in office by leading our nation into this new millennium not as a pariah state, but as a shining example for all the world to follow by exhibiting – with spectacular fashion – the single quality the world believes no American can possess: Humility.

I propose a national monument to folly. The monument would at once commemorate those who have served their nation with honor and distinction believing in a duty to something larger than the misguided will of a single Commander-in-Chief, while also serving as a testament to future generations of Americans and their leaders that ours is a nation too great to ever again allow the sin of hubris to enter our halls of power. The American National Monument to Folly should stand in no less august a location as the site of the singular monument to American pride and vision: Mount Rushmore. Shoulder-to-shoulder with the majesty of our greatest leaders, the visage of George W. Bush could be added by 2046, the 100th anniverssary of his birth.




President Bush, declare your willingness to do all that you can for our nation. Volunteer yourself to symbolize, forever more, American Folly. Our nation needs you. Do it for the Gipper. Do it for America.

Labels: George W. Bush, Israel, warrantless wiretaps

What a way to end the week. Bush wants a troop increase; a “surge.” One last thrust to quell the violence once and for all. You know, like Belfast. That he's had to reshuffle his military, intelligence and state department personnel to get this idea to float above outright ridicule is telling. Everyone knows a radically new strategy is necessary. And almost everyone knows a redeployment is an integral part of any such strategy, but not our Commander-In-Chief. I swear the man must think he's been chosen by God Himself to run this war. Oh wait...he does.

Our fledgling Democratic Congress has chimed in, and so has the military. It seems that while most of the plans for Operation Soup Fork call for 20 to 40 thousand additional U.S. troops, the Pentagon has reported that there's only a fraction of that number in any position to answer the call. Even a draft couldn't help with this plan. It would take months to train and deploy that many conscripts. And then there's Iran.

After a hopeful showing by moderates and reformers in the election recently, Iran has once again rattled its nuclear saber prompting Israel to intentionally leak its own military plans for a preemptive strategic nuclear strike against them. Madness just doesn't quite sum it up.

It's 2007. Any nation with the will to develop nuclear weapons shall have them. We need to accept this, and work with the facts. We didn't invade or bomb China when they went nuclear. We engaged them. The same can happen with Iran and every other nation that chooses to seek the bomb. There is always common ground, and there is always leverage. In this case we must accept that every nation has the right to self-determination (even the wacky ones). On these terms we can end our 27 year silence with Iran and re-establish diplomatic ties as co-equal, sovereign powers. Then, together with the other nuclear powers of the world we can begin what the wonks call a meaningful dialog.

Meanwhile, at the U.N., we can do something really nutty and stop behaving like hypocritical neo-nationalists and start acting like the world leader we claim to be. First step: an international nuclear open door policy. The nuclear powers of the world will police one another with a regime of inspections and standards formulated to discourage proliferation while maintaining the security of the most destructive weapons on Earth. That doesn't sound so bad now does it? For the sovereignty nuts out there I say: "Suck it." The American people have been not asked, but told that we will relinquish more civil rights and liberties for this global war on terror then I care to list here. What's the matter with letting the other kids in the club see our goods if it means we can subject them to the same mandatory inspections? It'll keep us safer in the long run while allowing us to keep an eye on our adversaries.

But that'll never happen. There will be troop increases in Iraq, and they will remain there long enough for the fat 30 year contracts to drop, so Bush & Co. can ride off into the sunset in style. Iran and Israel will forget about each other until CNN has another slow news day, and everyone will live happily ever after except the poor bastards in combat boots.

Labels: George W. Bush, iran, iraq, Israel, Surge