Labels: Navy, Video

The difference between the Army and the Navy?

Labels: Army, Navy, Video

The U.S. Navy has successfully tested 8-megajoule electromagnetic rail gun, and has plans to test a 32-megajoule version of the weapon in June. Their goal is to achieve a 64-megajoule system by 2020. Is it doable? Sure. Pump enough electricity into the rails and you can shoot something to the moon.

My question: What happens when it gets wet? ~via

Labels: darpa, military technology, Navy, Rail Gun

A senior Bush administration official has declared victory on the latest front of the Global War on Terra. "Intelligence sources have long suspected marine mammals of colluding with Al Qa'ida," the official stated on condition of anonymity. "I mean come on," he said, "'cells'...'pods'? We're really talking about the same global organizational structure here."

The official went on to describe coalition operations -- planned and executed unilaterally by the United States -- to deal with the "imminent" threat to national security marine mammals represent. "First off, they're way smarter than us. That's enough reason to kill them right there, really. But mostly we're doing it because it's so damned easy. We just flip on the sonar, and ZAP!!! It's like a goldfish in a microwave! Of course, most times they run -- like the Al Qa'ida cowards they are -- and end-up dead on a beach. It's a win-win situation for the 'good-guys' in the War on Terra."

Labels: environmentalism, George W. Bush, military technology, Navy, technology

This has nothing to do with low frequency sonar testing in the Pacific.

HOBART (AFP) - More than 100 pilot whales have died after beaching themselves on the coast of Australia's island state of Tasmania. Tasmanian Environment Minister Bryan Green told parliament the carcasses of 103 short-finned pilot whales had been found on a remote stretch of the state's west coast...

Labels: environmentalism, military technology, Navy

Via The Agonist:

The “Department of Defense authorization bill that President Bush is scheduled to sign Monday eases the military's responsibility under two important environmental laws.”

Environmental laws. Bah! Who needs ‘em? Isn’t it far more important that the U.S. Navy be able to develop more advanced sonar to protect us from all of those Al Qa'ida submarines skirting our coastlines? Who cares if the low frequency noise causes marine mammals to suffer massive internal hemorrhaging? Those subs are out there!

It makes me sick. Although not as sick as some will be because of this legislative circle jerk. Let me tell you a story about Fort Ord. Ah…foggy California, I miss it so.

Fort Ord, part of which now comprises the lovely UC Monterey Bay campus is one of the most polluted areas in central California. You can still see the earthen mounds that enclosed the firing ranges along the highway. Nothing quite like generations of young soldiers shooting lead into the earth to permanently taint the ground water. Can you say Superfund? Well, it looks like the DoD won’t have to worry about cleaning up their messes any more.

Thanks George. Stupid fuck-stick.

Labels: dod, environmentalism, George W. Bush, military technology, Navy, technology

The year is 2003. By all accounts, the Cold War is over. For those just joining us here in the 21st century: We won.

The former Soviet Union was the United States’ largest naval adversary with the cornerstone of their seafaring arsenal being a large number of nuclear submarines, each of which could easily destroy the entire east coast with a volley of sea-launched ballistic nuclear weapons. Naturally this was cause for some concern...in the 1990’s.

Yet, like the Russian space program, much of what was once a technologically advanced military force is now a footnote in the history of mutually assured destruction (MAD).

No other nation on Earth has such a fleet of killing machines - except of course for the USA. Most countries find it challenging enough to fund and support fleets of old, loud, slow, diesel-powered boats. So why does the US continue to research and deploy super powered sonar systems at a cost of billions of dollars to US taxpayers?

Whales.

What most Americans don’t realize is whales - and their dolphin cousins - are vastly more intelligent than human beings. Not only that, but the beasties are fucking huge! Just think what would happen if these gigantic, genius creatures decided that they should rule the world. We wouldn’t stand a chance. As it is, the bastards are already threatening our already depleted supply of tuna - the chicken of the sea. In a few short years we could be dealing with a worldwide tuna shortage! The thought gives me chills.

Fortunately, the Bush Administration has seen this danger on the horizon, and has vowed to protect us from these behemoths. However, because of the creature’s devious intellect, we’ve had to prepare for inevitable war with the whales in secret.

Sonar is the key. Ultra-low frequency sonar doesn’t just detect non-existent submarines deployed by non-existent geo-political adversaries; it also kills whales by the dozens! Our Navy is “testing” this new super weapon on daily basis in areas heavily populated by our mortal enemies. As a result, whales suffer crippling brain hemorrhages as their super-sensitive internal navigation systems painfully explode under the pressure of the sonic onslaught.

I for one will sleep easily tonight knowing that I won't be subjected to the brutal life of toiling in the undersea kelp farms of our would-be overlords.

Death to the whales! And god bless George W. Bush!

Labels: environmentalism, George W. Bush, military technology, Navy, Russia, technology